Article for the the BNW < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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| Aufgabe | | Schreibe einen Artikel für die Zeitung in der Brave New World. Dein Thema: God - Unnecessary concepts after Ford |
Before Ford, god and the different kinds of religions were a quite important part of the then mankind. It was almost comprehensible because the people hadn´t a superior instance, organisations or a power which knew all about the people wishes, longings and needs.
Instead of harmonic and lucky nations every country, city or village had their black sheeps who absolutely had no inhibitions, scruples to weaken and to terrorise their fellow men. Additional to that before Ford it was almost impossible to create just and satisfiable conditions.
Wars, death, revengefulness, corrupt governments and arrogance dominated everything.
The natural consequence was the escape into the religion which was for a huge part the only way to handle the life. It could determine how the poeple have to behave. The promising consideration was an invisible power which enabled them to bear hard times, an always present presence (a good and understanding listenor) for suddenly appearing needs and the encouragement to transmit the received love.
If we leave these old world and have a look on our world state we can not find similarly problems like before Ford. The missing structure doesn´t fails. Today the world controllers could create a perfect world where everyone is necessary and where everyone has a solid position in the society.
Our system directs and supports us and mediates a never ending peace. The only thing the inhabitants have to do is to obey the rules and to accept their personal fate.
If they are able to, they can savour a calming prosperity, safety, the advantage of a nice and helpful community, youth, health and justice. Obstinated problems or confusing situations will become solved with the drug soma. It calms the anger and everyone can taste the amenities of the BNW.
A really reliable help and much better as the hope of the effectiveness of the prayer.
Besides that the own future is saved because of the consistent work of the World State wheels!
The biggest advantage of a life without a strict god, religion: the people don´t have to be reserved or chaste - our civilisation which has chosen machinery, medicines and happyness makes these behaviour superfluous.
The possibilities are there - you only have to use them! And who needs a god if his power merely became supposed but not proved.
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 21:41 Mi 14.01.2009 | | Autor: | moody |
Hallo,
findste das nicht ein bisschen wenig, einfach Aufgabenstellung + deine Antwort zu posten? Keine Begrüßung, keine genaue Beschreibung von dem was du möchtest?
Möchtest du gerne wissen, ob das sprachlich okay ist und/oder auch inhaltllich ok?
lg moody
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 23:11 Mi 14.01.2009 | | Autor: | reverend |
Oh, da bin ich auf moodys Seite. Und hier im Englisch-Forum sogar auf moody's Seite.
Das Thema finde ich sehr interessant (wie mein Nick schon andeutet), und Dein Englisch ist ziemlich gut. Am Text arbeiten würde ich aber auch nur mit ein bisschen mehr Information. Dass Du durch das Schreiben des Textes ja eine umfängliche Eigenleistung erbracht hast, würdigen wir gerne, aber was willst Du nun wissen?
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Before Ford, God and the different kinds of religions were a quite important part of mankind then. This is almost comprehensible because the people hadn´t a superior instance, organisations or a power which knew all about the people's wishes, longings and needs.
Instead of one harmonic and lucky nation every country, city or village had their black sheeps who absolutely had no inhibitions or scruples to weaken and to terrorise their fellow men. Moreover, before Ford, it was almost impossible to create just and satisfiable conditions.
Wars, death, revengefulness, corrupt governments and arrogance dominated everything.
The natural consequence was the escape into religion which was for a huge part the only way to handle their lives. It possessed the power to determine how the people hade to behave. The promising consideration was an invisible power which enabled them to bear hard times, an always present presence (a good and understanding listenor) for suddenly appearing needs and the encouragement to transmit the received love.
If we leave this Old World and have a look on our World State we cannot (!) find similar problems like before Ford. The missing structure doesn´t fail. Today the world controllers have created a perfect world where everyone is necessary and where everyone has a solid position in society.
Our system directs and supports us and mediates a never ending peace. The only thing the inhabitants have to do is to obey the rules and to accept their personal fate.
If they are able to, they can savour a calming prosperity, safety, the advantage of a nice and helpful community, youth, health and justice. Obstinated problems or confusing situations will become solved with the drug soma. It calms the anger and everyone can taste the amenities of the BNW.
A really reliable help and much better as the hope of the effectiveness of prayer.
Besides that the own future is saved because of the consistent work of the World State wheels!
The biggest advantage of a life without a strict god, religion: the people don´t have to be reserved or chaste - our civilisation which has chosen machinery, medicines and happiness makes these behaviour superfluous.
The possibilities are there - you only have to use them! Besides, who needs a god if his power is merely supposed but not proved?
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So, habe deinen Text jetzt korrigiert. Insgesamt wirklich gut geschrieben 
Worauf du achten solltest:
- kein Artikel vor Begriffen wie mankind, society ...
- entweder can't oder cannot (immer zusammengeschrieben)
Inhaltlich:
Du schreibst für eine Zeitung im World State, der Sprache nach zu urteilen für die Alphas und Betas.
Solch eine Zeitung würde natürlich niemals veröffentlichen, dass die Leute zu gehorchen haben. Das wird ihnen von den World Controllern doch nicht erzählt werden, was auch gar nicht nötig ist, da sie keine andere Möglichkeit haben, als zu gehorchen und ihrem "unescapable destiny" zu folgen (conditioning, hypnopaedia). Auch würde man soma nicht öffentlich als "Droge" bezeichnen.
Ganz wichtig: Der Term "BNW" kann in einer solchen Zeitung nicht verwendet werden. Diese Bezeichnung benutzt nur John in Anlehnung an Mirandas Worte in Shakespeare's The Tempest: "How many goodly creatures live there here? How beauteous mankind is. O brave new world that hath such people in it!"
Den anderen Bürgern ist Shakespeare natürlich völlig unbekannt.
Liebe Grüße, Sabrina
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