Brief Korrektur Bitte ;-) < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) reagiert/warte auf Reaktion  | | Datum: | 19:56 Di 20.02.2007 | | Autor: | Informacao |
Hallo,
hätte jemand von euch Lust und Zeit einen von mir verfassten Brief Korrektur zu lesen. In dem bewerbe ich mich für einen Job in einer Werbeagentur und stelle mein Produkt vor... (natürlich alles nicht real).
Müsste es nur morgen abgeben, daher frage ich, ob das heute Abend noch geht.
LG Informacao
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Na klar immer her damit :)
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 20:13 Di 20.02.2007 | | Autor: | Informacao |
Ok 
Das freut mich:
Ad Agency London
87 South Lambeth Road
London GB SW8 1RN
February 18, 2007
Dear Mr. Holmes,
I would like to thank you for the chance to present you the ad I have created.
Today, there are lots of AIDS victims, but everybody has the opportunity to act against this, meaning through protection. That is the reason why I decided working on an ad that deals with this ¡§problem¡¨.
As you probably and hopefully know, an ad has to have several ¡§principles¡¨. You can summarize them like this:
A ³ the ad has to attract attention
I ³ it has to reveal the interest (e.g.: for the product)
D ³ it should create a certain ¡§desire¡¨
A ³ finally, it has to reveal the consumer¡¦s action, (e.g.: called to buy the product)
I worked hard to include all the criteria because if there is one criteria missing the ad cannot be totally successful.
In the following, I would like to explain my advertising strategy in creating this ad:
I decided to use the technique of a ¡§Rhetorical Question¡¨. Asking a question like ¡§What is it?¡¨ reveals the viewer¡¦s attention because he or she wants to search for a response to the question. The ¡§answer¡¨ ¡§I wish I wouldn¡¦t know.¡¨ is one that maybe confuses the audience because it wants to know what it is.
The ¡§normal¡¨ audience (meaning those who have no ¡V or a few ¡V background information) has to read more to get the answer to this question.
The person that seems to be interesting in this ad will go on reading, maybe firstly with the left text that is printed in red.
When the audience knows what the ad is about it can choose whether it likes to go on reading or not. If yes, the poem should attract more attention ¡V and the fact that it is written by a 7-year-old children (usually) creates the feeling of reflecting this topic, that is obviously terrible.
I used the colour black to underline the ¡§bad thing¡¨ in the ad, black and white are used to create a contrast to the background.
Moreover, I will explain the placement in this ad:
The question is placed on top of the ad, so the audience follows what is written there in a ¡§logical¡¨ and ¡§ordered¡¨ way.
Furthermore, the audience is able to ¡§find¡¨ an internet address.
It is obvious what the target group is: all the people in our world who are old enough to have fun and make love º
I hope that you got a first impression of my qualifications.
Now, I am seeking new professional challenges where I can continue to create new ads ¡V where I can create original ads.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
I leave my email address: ....xy@yxy.de
Yours sincerely,
Danke im Vorraus,
Informacao
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So, jetzt hoffe ich mal, dass ich alles habe.
Ich muss sagen, das hat mir schon ganz gut gefallen... hast du vor Englisch Leistungskurs zu nehmen?
Nun, ich kopiere hier mal deinen Text rein, in dem einige Anmerkungen sind. Die musst du natürlich nicht einhalten :)
By the way, ich finde die Abkürzung ad doch ein bisschen komisch. Dürft ihr das sagen?
Dear Mr. Holmes,
I would like to thank you for the chance to present you the ad I have created. meines Erachtens: present sth. to sb. also meine Variante: "..to thank you for the possibility to present my ad to you."
Today, there are lots of AIDS victims, but everybody has the opportunity to act against this, meaning through protection. That is the reason why I decided working on an ad that deals with this ¡§problem¡¨.
As you probably and hopefully know, an ad has to have several ¡§principles¡¨. You can summarize them like this:
A ³ the ad has to attract attention
I ³ it has to reveal ist reveal nicht eher mit show gleichzusetzen? Du kannst ja auch einfach ganz lasch sagen... has to be interessting for...
the interest (e.g.: for the product)
D ³ it should create a certain ¡§desire¡¨
A ³ finally, it has to reveal the consumer¡¦s action, (e.g.: called to buy the product)
I worked hard to include all the criteria because if because if ist nicht so schön gewählt. ich würde es eher so schreiben "I worked hard to include all criteria in order to get a successful result there is one criteria missing the ad cannot be totally successful.
In the following, I would like to explain my advertising strategy in creating this ad:
I decided to use the technique of a ¡§Rhetorical Question¡¨. Asking a question like ¡§What is it?¡¨ reveals the viewer¡¦s attention because he or she wants to search for a response to the question. The ¡§answer¡¨ ¡§I wish I wouldn¡¦t know.¡¨ is one that maybe confuses the audience because it wants to know what it is.
The ¡§normal¡¨ audience (meaning those who have no ¡V or a few ¡V background information) has to read more to get the answer to this question.
The person that seems to be interested in this ad will go on reading, maybe firstly better: at first und ein Verb im gerund würde ich statt "with" setzen with the left text that is printed in red.
When the audience knows what the ad is about it ich würde lieber they nehmen, aber it ist do ein bisschen wie ein Gegenstand can choose whether it likes to go on reading or not. If yes, the poem should attract more attention ¡V and the fact that it is written by a 7-year-old children (usually) creates the feeling of reflecting this topic, that is obviously terrible.
I used the colour black to underline the ¡§bad thing¡¨ in the ad, black and white are used to create a contrast to the background.
Moreover, I will explain the placement in this ad:
The question is placed on top of the ad, so the audience follows what is written there in a ¡§logical¡¨ and ¡§ordered¡¨ way.
Furthermore, the audience is able to ¡§find¡¨ an internet address.
It is obvious what the target group is: bin mir nicht ganz sicher aber bin für are und keinen Doppelpunkt all the people in our world who are old enough to have fun and make love º
I hope that you got a first impression of my qualifications.
Now, I am seeking new professional challenges where I can continue to create new ads ¡V where I can create original ads.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
I leave my email address: ....xy@yxy.de
Da lass' dir mal noch einen netteren satz einfallen. Stilbruch ^v^
Yours sincerely,
Wie gesagt das sind nur Tips. Ob du das dann anders machst, musst du entscheiden. :]
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 21:14 Di 20.02.2007 | | Autor: | Informacao |
Hi,
ok super danke =)
Ich werde das gleich mal überarbeiten..
Hmm.. ne Englisch LK wäre garnichts für mich. Ich dachte eher an Mathe 
Nich alle Mathematiker sind weltfreme Menschen ^^
LG Informacao
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Dann bleiben die Englisch-Leistungskursler wohl immer allein, ohne mathematische genies
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Hehe^^ eine frage noch:
Kann ich anstatt "ad" einfach "advertising" einsetzen,... oder, was muss ich da nehmen?
LG Informacao
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Ich denke schon, obwohl das ja auch ien bisschen komisch aussieht, wenn du immer advertesing nimmst. Also, mhhh. Lass es doch in einem schönen Mix. Diesbezüglich bin ich ratlos, so sind sie eben die Englischleute
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 21:43 Di 20.02.2007 | | Autor: | Informacao |
Ok, danke für die Mitteilung.
Mir ist gerade aufgefallen, dass in meinem Anschreiben ja auch "Ad Agency" steht, von daher wird es ja erlaubt sein
LG Informacao
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 22:44 Di 20.02.2007 | | Autor: | Iduna |
Hallo Leute!
meiner Meinung nach ist "ad" bei ner Bewerbung nicht so gut, da es die Abkürzung für "advertising" ist und somit auch umgangssprachlich ist.
Tipp: Bei Bewerbungen/ förmlichen Briefen Abkürzungen vermeiden.
So kenn ich das zumindest aus meinem Englisch-Unterricht, dass Umgangssprache bei sowas "nicht erlaubt" ist.
Vielen liebe Grüße
Iduna
PS:
Hier findest du noch ein paar andere Möglichkeiten für "advertising":
http://dict.leo.org/ende?lp=ende&lang=de&searchLoc=0&cmpType=relaxed§Hdr=on&spellToler=on&search=werbung&relink=on
Viel Erfolg noch!
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