Dringender Korrekturbedarf < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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| Status: |
(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 09:18 Mi 09.01.2013 | | Autor: | ichdavid |
| Aufgabe | Ich habe vor kurzem in Englisch einen Test geschrieben. Der ist inhaltlich auch richtig aber grammatikalisch leider relativ falsch. Ich habe die möglichkeit diesen Test nich EINMAL zu bearbeiten. Ich habe schon einiges auskorrigiert. Ich möchte Euch bitten mir bei auskorrigieren zu helfen. Es geht nur um die Grammatik nicht um den Inhalt. Hier der Text:
At the beginning of the novel “On the Beach” Moira Davidson drinks a lot of alcohol and she is a real party girl. During the story, she changes herself. It's because of Navy-Commander Dwight Towers. She meets him, because Mr. Peter Holmes invited Towers for spending some days at their home. Moira Davidson is a friend of Mrs. Holmes. Moira gets along very good with Mr. Towers and speaks a lot with him. They spend a lot of time together. I think Moira falls in love with Towers. Towers thinks, Moira is a little bit strange and talks with her about it. Towers explains to Moira, that he don't appreciate drinking so much. He also wonders, that she sleeps so little. Therefore she begins to change. She stops to drink so much any more and she begins to take part at a secretarial course. An other reason, of changing her live could be, that she remembers, that the life is so short, especially now after the nuclear war. This nuclear war took place in europe and asia some weeks before. But the radioactive dust will soon arrive in Australia. Everybody will get ill and finally all people will die.
There could be several reasons, why Towers don't take Moira with him to sink the submarine. It could be, that he wants to sail a last one time with his crew. He always sailed with his crew, so he also wants to spend the end with them. In addition it's a submarine of the US-Navy and it isn't allowed to take other peoples on board. He don't want to break the rules.
Maybe, he knows the dead in this way is very painful and he hopes Moira will take one of the pills to end her life.
Furthermore he wants to stay faithful to his wife, although he knows she's already dead because of the radiation in America. Perhaps, he is afraid to break this faithfulness.
I think they don't want to believe, that everybody in Australia will die soon, so there will be no life on earth. Mr. Holmes himself knows, that everybody will die, but he talks with his wife about the future, to make it easier to her to understand the situation. They both want to ignore the true future and enjoy their last living time. Later he explains to his wife how to use the pills to suicide. Maybe, they hope the radiation won't reach them.
My ambition that I would like to fulfil, is to pass my “Abitur”, best with a good marks. You can compare the german “Abitur” with the graduation from high school. When I (or the whole world) would have to die soon, I would spend time with my family and with my girlfriend.
In the story “The Apple Tree” are two apple trees. The one has much branches and makes much flowers in the spring. In the autumn you can harvest a lot of beautiful red apples with a good size. In front of this apple tree is an other apple tree. It's thin with a few branches. The top branch sadly hangs down. This tree looks like a thin body with thin arms and a tired head. The dry leaves move in the wind like thin hairs. His apples are very small and full of insects. The protagonist of the story thinks: their taste is terrible. This apple tree takes away the sun from the other apple tree behind him.
So here are two characters. The one apple tree is “bad”. It's ugly, useless and it keeps back the sun from the other apple tree. The other apple tree is beautiful and its fruits have a good taste. It's much better than the apple tree in front of him.
The protagonist offers to Mrs. Hill some logs from his old half-dead apple tree. He smiles a secret smile because it seems so, like he only fell the apple tree to give some logs to Mrs. Hill. But the truth is, that he hates this tree, because its ugly, its apples on it aren't eatable and it takes away the sun for the apple tree behind him. In addition he was angry about the tree, when he wanted to burn a little bit of it. But it did not want to burn and killed the fire. Then the whole house smelled about it, so the protagonist was afraid that he couldn't breathe. He was so angry about the wood, that he threw it over the fence to his neighbour. So his neighbours' horse broke accidently the leg. All in one, the protagonist had much trouble with this apple tree. Now he has the opportunity to get rid of it, but it seems so, like he only wants to help Mrs. Hill, who can not get wood for burning to warm the pub because it costs so much. It's like a revenge for the protagonist.
I think Midge was more to blame for the unhappy marriage. She never has been was happy, always worked
and was always busy. Most of the things she did were unnecessary. Which husband or man wants a wife like her?
But the protagonist was blamed too, because of his affaire with a young woman. I think their marriage itself was a problem, because both of them were very different persons. They didn't belong together.
After the protagonist walked up the hill near the pub, he arrived at home and went towards the apple trees. He admired an apple tree. Now, it stood alone, without the old, dead apple, which was in front of it. He wanted to touch this apple tree to be sure it was still alive and it would flower in the spring again. When he was reaching the tree he fell. His foot was bent under him. It was caught by the torn stump from the old apple tree, which he cut down few hours before. He dropped deeper and deeper and shout for help, but of course nobody heard him. There was no escape. Then the story ends.
I think myself, he'll die in the night because of the cold. Somebody, perhaps the cleaner woman, would find him dead next day. |
Ich habe vor kurzem in Englisch einen Test geschrieben. Der ist inhaltlich auch richtig aber grammatikalisch leider relativ falsch. Ich habe die möglichkeit diesen Test nich EINMAL zu bearbeiten. Ich habe schon einiges auskorrigiert. Ich möchte Euch bitten mir bei auskorrigieren zu helfen. Es geht nur um die Grammatik nicht um den Inhalt. Hier der Text:
At the beginning of the novel “On the Beach” Moira Davidson drinks a lot of alcohol and she is a real party girl. During the story, she changes herself. It's because of Navy-Commander Dwight Towers. She meets him, because Mr. Peter Holmes invited Towers for spending some days at their home. Moira Davidson is a friend of Mrs. Holmes. Moira gets along very good with Mr. Towers and speaks a lot with him. They spend a lot of time together. I think Moira falls in love with Towers. Towers thinks, Moira is a little bit strange and talks with her about it. Towers explains to Moira, that he don't appreciate drinking so much. He also wonders, that she sleeps so little. Therefore she begins to change. She stops to drink so much any more and she begins to take part at a secretarial course. An other reason, of changing her live could be, that she remembers, that the life is so short, especially now after the nuclear war. This nuclear war took place in europe and asia some weeks before. But the radioactive dust will soon arrive in Australia. Everybody will get ill and finally all people will die.
There could be several reasons, why Towers don't take Moira with him to sink the submarine. It could be, that he wants to sail a last one time with his crew. He always sailed with his crew, so he also wants to spend the end with them. In addition it's a submarine of the US-Navy and it isn't allowed to take other peoples on board. He don't want to break the rules.
Maybe, he knows the dead in this way is very painful and he hopes Moira will take one of the pills to end her life.
Furthermore he wants to stay faithful to his wife, although he knows she's already dead because of the radiation in America. Perhaps, he is afraid to break this faithfulness.
I think they don't want to believe, that everybody in Australia will die soon, so there will be no life on earth. Mr. Holmes himself knows, that everybody will die, but he talks with his wife about the future, to make it easier to her to understand the situation. They both want to ignore the true future and enjoy their last living time. Later he explains to his wife how to use the pills to suicide. Maybe, they hope the radiation won't reach them.
My ambition that I would like to fulfil, is to pass my “Abitur”, best with a good marks. You can compare the german “Abitur” with the graduation from high school. When I (or the whole world) would have to die soon, I would spend time with my family and with my girlfriend.
In the story “The Apple Tree” are two apple trees. The one has much branches and makes much flowers in the spring. In the autumn you can harvest a lot of beautiful red apples with a good size. In front of this apple tree is an other apple tree. It's thin with a few branches. The top branch sadly hangs down. This tree looks like a thin body with thin arms and a tired head. The dry leaves move in the wind like thin hairs. His apples are very small and full of insects. The protagonist of the story thinks: their taste is terrible. This apple tree takes away the sun from the other apple tree behind him.
So here are two characters. The one apple tree is “bad”. It's ugly, useless and it keeps back the sun from the other apple tree. The other apple tree is beautiful and its fruits have a good taste. It's much better than the apple tree in front of him.
The protagonist offers to Mrs. Hill some logs from his old half-dead apple tree. He smiles a secret smile because it seems so, like he only fell the apple tree to give some logs to Mrs. Hill. But the truth is, that he hates this tree, because its ugly, its apples on it aren't eatable and it takes away the sun for the apple tree behind him. In addition he was angry about the tree, when he wanted to burn a little bit of it. But it did not want to burn and killed the fire. Then the whole house smelled about it, so the protagonist was afraid that he couldn't breathe. He was so angry about the wood, that he threw it over the fence to his neighbour. So his neighbours' horse broke accidently the leg. All in one, the protagonist had much trouble with this apple tree. Now he has the opportunity to get rid of it, but it seems so, like he only wants to help Mrs. Hill, who can not get wood for burning to warm the pub because it costs so much. It's like a revenge for the protagonist.
I think Midge was more to blame for the unhappy marriage. She never has been was happy, always worked
and was always busy. Most of the things she did were unnecessary. Which husband or man wants a wife like her?
But the protagonist was blamed too, because of his affaire with a young woman. I think their marriage itself was a problem, because both of them were very different persons. They didn't belong together.
After the protagonist walked up the hill near the pub, he arrived at home and went towards the apple trees. He admired an apple tree. Now, it stood alone, without the old, dead apple, which was in front of it. He wanted to touch this apple tree to be sure it was still alive and it would flower in the spring again. When he was reaching the tree he fell. His foot was bent under him. It was caught by the torn stump from the old apple tree, which he cut down few hours before. He dropped deeper and deeper and shout for help, but of course nobody heard him. There was no escape. Then the story ends.
I think myself, he'll die in the night because of the cold. Somebody, perhaps the cleaner woman, would find him dead next day.
Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 10:51 Mi 09.01.2013 | | Autor: | chrisno |
Ich habe nur nach der Grammatik gesehen. Sicher habe ich nur einen Teil entdeckt.
> ....
> At the beginning of the novel “On the Beach” Moira
> Davidson drinks a lot of alcohol and she is a real party
> girl. During the story, she changes herself. It's because
> of Navy-Commander Dwight Towers. She meets him, because Mr.
> Peter Holmes invited Towers for spending some days at their
> home. Moira Davidson is a friend of Mrs. Holmes. Moira gets
> along very good with Mr. Towers and speaks a lot with him.
> They spend a lot of time together. I think Moira falls in
> love with Towers. Towers thinks, Moira is a little bit
> strange and talks with her about it. Towers explains to
> Moira, that he don't
does not
> appreciate drinking so much. He also
> wonders, that she sleeps so little. Therefore she begins to
> change. She stops to drink so much
[S]any more[/s]
> and she begins
> to take part at a secretarial course. An other reason, of
for
> changing her live could be, that she remembers, that
the
> life is so short, especially now after the nuclear war.
> This nuclear war took place in europe and asia
Europe and Asia
> some weeks
> before. But the radioactive dust will soon arrive in
> Australia. Everybody will get ill and finally all people
> will die.
>
>
> There could be several reasons, why Towers don't
does not
> take Moira
> with him to sink the submarine. It could be, that he wants
> to sail a last one time with his crew. He always sailed
> with his crew, so he also wants to spend the end with them.
> In addition it's a submarine of the US-Navy and it isn't
> allowed to take other peoples
people
> on board. He don't
does not
> want to
> break the rules.
> Maybe, he knows the dead in
to die
> this way is very painful and
> he hopes Moira will take one of the pills to end her life.
> Furthermore he wants to stay faithful to his wife,
> although he knows she's already dead because of the
> radiation in America. Perhaps, he is afraid to break this
> faithfulness.
>
>
> I think they don't want to believe, that everybody in
> Australia will die soon, so there will be no life on earth.
> Mr. Holmes himself knows, that everybody will die, but he
> talks with his wife about the future, to make it easier to
> her to understand the situation. They both want to ignore
> the true future and enjoy their last living time. Later he
> explains to his wife how to use the pills to
for
> suicide.
> Maybe, they hope the radiation won't reach them.
>
>
> My ambition that I would like to fulfil, is to pass my
> “Abitur”, best with a good marks. You can compare the
> german “Abitur” with the graduation from high school.
> When I (or the whole world) would have to die soon, I would
> spend time with my family and with my girlfriend.
>
>
> In the story “The Apple Tree” are two apple trees. The
> one has much branches and makes much flowers
Blumen?
> in the spring.
> In the autumn you can harvest a lot of beautiful red apples
> with a good size. In front of this apple tree is an other
> apple tree. It's thin with a few branches. The top branch
> sadly hangs down. This tree looks like a thin body with
> thin arms and a tired head. The dry leaves move in the wind
> like thin hairs. His
Its
> apples are very small and full of
> insects. The protagonist of the story thinks: their taste
> is terrible. This apple tree takes away the sun from the
> other apple tree behind him.
> So here are two characters. The one apple tree is
> “bad”. It's ugly, useless and it keeps back the sun
> from the other apple tree. The other apple tree is
> beautiful and its fruits have a good taste. It's much
> better than the apple tree in front of him.
it
>
>
> The protagonist offers to Mrs. Hill some logs from his old
> half-dead apple tree. He smiles a secret smile because it
> seems so, like he only fell the apple tree to give some
> logs to Mrs. Hill. But the truth is, that he hates this
> tree, because its ugly, its apples on it aren't eatable and
> it takes away the sun for the apple tree behind him. In
> addition he was angry about the tree, when he wanted to
> burn a little bit of it. But it did not want to burn and
> killed the fire. Then the whole house smelled about
of
> it, so
> the protagonist was afraid that he couldn't breathe. He
> was so angry about the wood, that he threw it over the
> fence to his neighbour. So his neighbours' horse broke
> accidently the
a
> leg. All in one, the protagonist had much
> trouble with this apple tree. Now he has the opportunity to
> get rid of it, but it seems
so, like
> he only wants to help
> Mrs. Hill, who can not get wood for burning to warm the pub
> because it costs so much. It's like a revenge for the
> protagonist.
>
>
> I think Midge was more to blame for the unhappy marriage.
> She never has been was happy, always worked
> and was always busy. Most of the things she did were
> unnecessary. Which husband or man wants a wife like her?
> But the protagonist was blamed too, because of his affaire
> with a young woman. I think their marriage itself was a
> problem, because both of them were very different persons.
> They didn't belong together.
>
>
> After the protagonist walked up the hill near the pub, he
> arrived at home and went towards the apple trees. He
> admired an apple tree. Now, it stood alone, without the
> old, dead apple,
tree?
> which was in front of it. He wanted to
> touch this apple tree to be sure it was still alive and it
> would flower in the spring again. When he was reaching the
> tree he fell. His foot was bent under him. It was caught by
> the torn stump from the old apple tree, which he cut down
> few hours before. He dropped deeper and deeper and
shouted
> for help, but of course nobody heard him. There was no
> escape. Then the story ends.
> I think myself, he'll die in the night because of the
> cold. Somebody, perhaps the cleaner woman, would find him
> dead next day.
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| Aufgabe | At the beginning of the novel “On the Beach” Moira Davidson drinks a lot of alcohol and she is a real party girl. During the story, she changes herself. It's because of Navy-Commander Dwight Towers. She meets him, because Mr. Peter Holmes invited Towers for spending some days at their home. Moira Davidson is a friend of Mrs. Holmes. Moira gets along very good with Mr. Towers and speaks a lot with him. They spend a lot of time together. I think Moira falls in love with Towers. Towers thinks, Moira is a little bit strange and talks with her about it. Towers explains to Moira, that he don't appreciate drinking so much. He also wonders, that she sleeps so little. Therefore she begins to change. She stops to drink so much any more and she begins to take part at a secretarial course. An other reason, of changing her live could be, that she remembers, that the life is so short, especially now after the nuclear war. This nuclear war took place in europe and asia some weeks before. But the radioactive dust will soon arrive in Australia. Everybody will get ill and finally all people will die.
There could be several reasons, why Towers don't take Moira with him to sink the submarine. It could be, that he wants to sail a last one time with his crew. He always sailed with his crew, so he also wants to spend the end with them. In addition it's a submarine of the US-Navy and it isn't allowed to take other peoples on board. He don't want to break the rules.
Maybe, he knows the dead in this way is very painful and he hopes Moira will take one of the pills to end her life.
Furthermore he wants to stay faithful to his wife, although he knows she's already dead because of the radiation in America. Perhaps, he is afraid to break this faithfulness.
I think they don't want to believe, that everybody in Australia will die soon, so there will be no life on earth. Mr. Holmes himself knows, that everybody will die, but he talks with his wife about the future, to make it easier to her to understand the situation. They both want to ignore the true future and enjoy their last living time. Later he explains to his wife how to use the pills to suicide. Maybe, they hope the radiation won't reach them.
My ambition that I would like to fulfil, is to pass my “Abitur”, best with a good marks. You can compare the german “Abitur” with the graduation from high school. When I (or the whole world) would have to die soon, I would spend time with my family and with my girlfriend.
In the story “The Apple Tree” are two apple trees. The one has much branches and makes much flowers in the spring. In the autumn you can harvest a lot of beautiful red apples with a good size. In front of this apple tree is an other apple tree. It's thin with a few branches. The top branch sadly hangs down. This tree looks like a thin body with thin arms and a tired head. The dry leaves move in the wind like thin hairs. His apples are very small and full of insects. The protagonist of the story thinks: their taste is terrible. This apple tree takes away the sun from the other apple tree behind him.
So here are two characters. The one apple tree is “bad”. It's ugly, useless and it keeps back the sun from the other apple tree. The other apple tree is beautiful and its fruits have a good taste. It's much better than the apple tree in front of him.
The protagonist offers to Mrs. Hill some logs from his old half-dead apple tree. He smiles a secret smile because it seems so, like he only fell the apple tree to give some logs to Mrs. Hill. But the truth is, that he hates this tree, because its ugly, its apples on it aren't eatable and it takes away the sun for the apple tree behind him. In addition he was angry about the tree, when he wanted to burn a little bit of it. But it did not want to burn and killed the fire. Then the whole house smelled about it, so the protagonist was afraid that he couldn't breathe. He was so angry about the wood, that he threw it over the fence to his neighbour. So his neighbours' horse broke accidently the leg. All in one, the protagonist had much trouble with this apple tree. Now he has the opportunity to get rid of it, but it seems so, like he only wants to help Mrs. Hill, who can not get wood for burning to warm the pub because it costs so much. It's like a revenge for the protagonist.
I think Midge was more to blame for the unhappy marriage. She never has been was happy, always worked
and was always busy. Most of the things she did were unnecessary. Which husband or man wants a wife like her?
But the protagonist was blamed too, because of his affaire with a young woman. I think their marriage itself was a problem, because both of them were very different persons. They didn't belong together.
After the protagonist walked up the hill near the pub, he arrived at home and went towards the apple trees. He admired an apple tree. Now, it stood alone, without the old, dead apple, which was in front of it. He wanted to touch this apple tree to be sure it was still alive and it would flower in the spring again. When he was reaching the tree he fell. His foot was bent under him. It was caught by the torn stump from the old apple tree, which he cut down few hours before. He dropped deeper and deeper and shout for help, but of course nobody heard him. There was no escape. Then the story ends.
I think myself, he'll die in the night because of the cold. Somebody, perhaps the cleaner woman, would find him dead next day. |
Ich habe vor kurzem in Englisch einen Test geschrieben. Der ist inhaltlich auch richtig aber grammatikalisch leider relativ falsch. Ich habe die möglichkeit diesen Test nich EINMAL zu bearbeiten. Ich habe schon einiges auskorrigiert. Ich möchte Euch bitten mir bei auskorrigieren zu helfen. Es geht nur um die Grammatik nicht um den Inhalt. Text siehe oben.
Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 21:48 Fr 11.01.2013 | | Autor: | chrisno |
Du hast ja nicht mal meine Korrekturen eingearbeitet.
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 10:04 Sa 12.01.2013 | | Autor: | ichdavid |
Section One
On the Beach
1.
At the beginning of the novel “On the Beach” Moira Davidson drinks a lot of alcohol and she is a real party girl. During the story, she changes herself because of Navy-Commander Dwight Towers. She meets him because Mr. Peter Holmes had invited Towers to spend some days at their home. Moira Davidson is a friend of Mrs. Holmes. Moira gets along very well with Mr. Towers and speaks a lot with him. They spend a lot of time together. I think Moira falls in love with Towers. Towers thinks, Moira is a little strange and talks with her about it. Towers explains to Moira that he doesn't appreciate drinking so much. He also wonders that she sleeps so little. Therefore she begins to change. She stops to drink so much any more and she begins to take part at a secretarial course. An other reason, for changing her live could be that she remembers that life is so short, especially now after the nuclear war. This nuclear war took place in Europe and Asia some weeks before. But the radioactive dust will soon arrive in Australia. Everybody will get ill and finally all people will die.
2.
There could be several reasons why Towers doesn't take Moira with him to sink the submarine. It could be that he wants to sail a last one time with his crew. He always sailed with his crew, so he also wants to spend the end with them. In addition it's a submarine of the US-Navy and it isn't allowed to take other people on board. He doesn't want to break the rules.
Maybe, he knows to die this way is very painful and he hopes Moira will take one of the pills to end her life.
Furthermore he wants to stay faithful to his wife, although he knows she's already dead because of the radiation in America. Perhaps, he is afraid to break this faithfulness.
3.
I think they don't want to believe that everybody in Australia will die soon, so there will be no life on earth. Mr. Holmes himself knows that everybody will die, but he talks with his wife about the future, to make it easier to her to understand the situation. They both want to ignore the true future and enjoy their last living time. Later he explains to his wife how to use the pills for suicide. Maybe, they hope the radiation won't reach them.
4.
My ambition that I would like to fulfil, is to pass my “Abitur”, best with a good marks. You can compare the german “Abitur” with the graduation from high school. When I (or the whole world) would have to die soon, I would spend time with my family and with my girlfriend.
Section Two
The Apple Tree
1.
In the story “The Apple Tree” are two apple trees. The one has much branches and makes much flowers in the spring. In the autumn you can harvest a lot of beautiful red apples with a good size. In front of this apple tree is an other apple tree. It's thin with a few branches. The top branch sadly hangs down. This tree looks like a thin body with thin arms and a tired head. The dry leaves move in the wind like thin hairs. Its apples are very small and full of insects. The protagonist of the story thinks: their taste is terrible. This apple tree takes away the sun from the other apple tree behind him.
So here are two characters. The one apple tree is “bad”. It's ugly, useless and it keeps back the sun from the other apple tree. The other apple tree is beautiful and its fruits have a good taste. It's much better than the apple tree in front of him.
2.
The protagonist offers to Mrs. Hill some logs from his old half-dead apple tree. He smiles a secret smile because it seems so, like he only fell the apple tree to give some logs to Mrs. Hill. But the truth is, that he hates this tree because its ugly, its apples on it aren't eatable and it takes away the sun for the apple tree behind him. In addition he was angry about the tree when he wanted to burn a little bit of it. But it did not want to burn and killed the fire. Then the whole house smelled of it, so the protagonist was afraid that he couldn't breathe. He was so angry about the wood that he threw it over the fence to his neighbour. So his neighbours' horse broke accidently a leg. All in one, the protagonist had much trouble with this apple tree. Now he has the opportunity to get rid of it, but it seems he only wants to help Mrs. Hill, who can not get wood for burning to warm the pub because it costs so much. It's like a revenge for the protagonist.
3.
I think Midge was more to blame for the unhappy marriage. She never has been was happy, always worked
and was always busy. Most of the things she did were unnecessary. Which husband or man wants a wife like her?
But the protagonist was blamed too because of his affaire with a young woman. I think their marriage itself was a problem because both of them were very different persons. They didn't belong together.
4.
After the protagonist walked up the hill near the pub, he arrived at home and went towards the apple trees. He admired an apple tree. Now, it stood alone, without the old, dead apple tree, which was in front of it. He wanted to touch this apple tree to be sure it was still alive and it would flower in the spring again. When he was reaching the tree he fell. His foot was bent under him. It was caught by the torn stump from the old apple tree, which he cut down few hours before. He dropped deeper and deeper and shouted for help, but of course nobody heard him. There was no escape. Then the story ends.
I think myself, he'll die in the night because of the cold. Somebody, perhaps the cleaner woman, would find him dead next day.
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 08:20 So 13.01.2013 | | Autor: | matux |
$MATUXTEXT(ueberfaellige_frage)
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