Text Korrekturlesen < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Hallo
würde mich freuen, wenn jemand folgenden Text korrekturlesen könnte:
In the beginning the text "Do parents know their kids" gives several positive aspects of American teenagers' lives in 1999.
First of all it's to say that the teenagers have grown up in a better time than their parents or grandparents for exampel.
They didn't have to worry about their future because there is no war and so many financial problems as in the past. Their lives are easier because of the new technical methods: Cable and the Internet for examel give them the possibility to get a lot of information wheter for school or their private interests.
Furthermore they can choose what they want to do after school and even girls are allowed to make their careers in every field they want to.
But there are also a lot of negative aspects. Most teenagers of these times feel alone and of pressure.
Parents have no time for their kids and that's why a lot of teenagers cling to cliques or deal with computer games, TV or movies which are often very violent. So, it's not a miracle (it's no miracle? wie sagt man: es ist kein wunder?) that brutality is nearly normal for these kids and completely involved in their lives.
Others have to live with their parents' divorce and a lot of these kids have to take responsibility for their siblings.
Some teenagers have to do part-time jobs but soon the are overstrained. They can't handle both: School or rather homework and the job. That's why they are often tired at school and their school achievement gets worse.
lg
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Ich versuch mein bestes :)
The text "Do parents know their kids" contains several positive aspects of American teenagers lives in year 1999.
First of all it needs to be mentioned that teenagers are growing up in a better time than the preceding generation.
They don't need to be worried about their future as there is no war and financial problems like the years before.
Life for a teen is much easier as they have new technical methods like internet. Internet gives them the chance to have the possibility to get a lot of information for school or interests.
Furthermore they can choose what they want to do after school and even girls are allowed to make their careers in every field they want to.
But there is also a lot of negative aspects. Most teenagers of these times feel alone and under pressure.
Parents don't have time for their kids and that's why a lot of teenagers cling to cliques or deal with computer games, TV or movies which are often very violent.
So it's not a miracle, that brutality is totally normal for these kids and completely involved in their lives.
Others have to live with their parents' divorce and a lot of these kids have to take responsibility for their siblings in young age.
Some teenagers have to do part-time jobs til they are overstrained. They can't handle both: School or rather homework and the job. That's why they are often exhausted at school and their school achievement gets worse.
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(Korrektur) kleiner Fehler  | | Datum: | 16:53 Do 16.12.2010 | | Autor: | moody |
> Ich versuch mein bestes :)
>
> The text "Do parents know their kids" contains several
> positive aspects of American teenagers lives in year 1999.
Hier auch dann erwähnen dass es negativ Aspekte gibt wenn du da später drauf eingehst.
> First of all it needs to be mentioned that teenagers are
> growing up in a better time than the preceding generation.
> They don't need to be worried about their future as there
Schon wieder need to Konstruktion, einfacher + schöner: Dont have to worry
> is no war and financial problems like the years before.
:S Also ich glaube dass es im Jahr 1999 sehr wohl Kriege gab. Nur weil sie nicht direkt vor der Haustür stattfinde oder mittlerweile unkonventionell geführt werden heißt es nicht dass sie nicht da sind. Würde das auf jeden Fall konkretisieren.
> Life for a teen is much easier as they have new technical
> methods like internet.
Technical improvements / innovations. Das Internet ist weniger eine methode. Und es heißt the internet nicht nur internet.
>Internet gives them the chance to
> have the possibility to get a lot of information for school
> or interests.
>
> Furthermore they can choose what they want to do after
> school and even girls are allowed to make their careers in
> every field they want to.
>
> But there is also a lot of negative aspects. Most teenagers
there are
> of these times feel alone and under pressure.
Wenn du jetzt von 99 redest of this time.
> Parents don't have time for their kids and that's why a
> lot of teenagers cling to cliques or deal with computer
Wenn sie sie nicht verkaufen würde ich eher sagen play
> games, TV or movies which are often very violent.
> So it's not a miracle, that brutality is totally normal for
> these kids and completely involved in their lives.
not a surprise statt miracle
Und so krass ist es mit der Gewalt nun auch nicht. Komplett normal ist glaube ich einfach inhaltlich falsch.
Höhere Hemmschwellen, stärkere Gewöhnung würde ich hier mal als passender ansehen.
> Others have to live with their parents' divorce and a lot
> of these kids have to take responsibility for their
> siblings in young age.
> Some teenagers have to do part-time jobs til they are
until
> overstrained. They can't handle both: School or rather
> homework and the job. That's why they are often exhausted
> at school and their school achievement gets worse.
achievement(s)
lg moody
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